It has been a year of dating, not really mating and not too much relating. Full of man children, sad sacks, autists, toothless, soulless, predators.
Within I will share my experiences, try to understand what it is to be a single woman searching for connection in our modern age.
The Giant - Former pro wrestler, 6'8, a monster. Incapable of loading 'words with friends' onto his tablet.
Mr.Cake - Looks like a young Carson Daily, has a hetero life mate. Relates way too much to 'Its Always Sunny In Philadelphia.' Favorite band is Cake. Feels incapable of having a relationship. Man child.
Short Stuff - Is somehow shorter then me, I am 5'2. Aggressive underbite, he is not down with the word 'No'. Tries to get me to take him home, repeatedly. Kisses in a bizarre way, makes circles with tongue over and over again, maybe he was trying to sign something to me? Critiques my dating skills the next day, warn the other ladies of okcupid about him via our super secret facebook page.
Diabeetus - Guilts me into date, because I am being shallow about him being morbidly obese and looking like Alfred Brimley. I do not indulge in drugs, I accept a brownie from him after testifying for my friend as she battled to get her children back. It was a rough day. Got so fucked up I couldn't sit up. He chews me up, covered in bruises, even lips are bruised, he finds my post on reddit detailing the incident and doesn't believe he did any wrong. The people who love me beg to differ. Non consensual.
